Archive for November 2004

every valley shall be exalted

They say that anger is part of grieving, which is good, because like my Bompa, I seem quick to anger these days. Current candidates for my wrath are:

(1) Church, because we didn’t have Christmas carols on Sunday which is the first sunday of advent. Yes, that’s right, the FIRST SUNDAY OF ADVENT and NO CHRISTMAS CAROLS. At least the sermon promised to be about hope. But then the sermon was the darkness of our world and creating hope. Now this would normally be fine, but I feel like we’re living in darkness this year, this family of mine, and I don’t need reminders of it. I need to hear grand statements of hope about the Christmas season to buck up my mood rather than drag me down. You know, “every valley shall be exalted” kinda stuff, the bread and butter Christmas preseason message (Cory thinks I’m crazy for my unexplained love of holiday music).

(2) Cory’s office because he’s been away for 32 of the past 40 days, and these were days when emotionally it’s been very hard to be alone (and saying this makes me feel small when I think of what Bomps is going through). We’ve gone through a very tough emotional time and had to do it apart, so although irrational, I’m mad at his company and it’s probably not a bad thing we’re have to miss the company Christmas party this year, which we normally enjoy.

(3) Shoppers Drug Mart. Long story about a prize I may or may not have won in a contest I didn’t know I entered and phone call that I can’t make because they don’t answer their phones. I wish I hadn’t won in the first place (which, since I didn’t know I’d entered, I wouldn’t have known I’d lost, and blissful oblivion would be exactly that).

However, I’ve managed not to lose sight of the good, not anger generating parts of my life. We’re going to Scotland on Friday, my brother’s asked both of us to be involved in his wedding (which means a lot), and lots of little happy things.
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as dismal as the weather

I’m a bit blue today, missing my grandmother and wishing that there was something I could do to take away some of the grief my grandfather’s dealing with.

We are taking a quick vacation in a weeks time, heading to Scotland for a week. It’s a work-related trip, but Cory’s coming with me and we’ll have our first holiday since our honeymoon two years ago.

As much as I’m excited, I’m still dealing with how I feel about Nana and I’m okay with that. There’s moments of brightness now that there couldn’t have been a month ago, and perhaps soon I’ll manage a whole day without breaking into tears at some point. Just not yet.
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when suze came to visit

I’ve been meaning to post this rather unflattering [1] pic for a while to document Suze’s whirlwind trip through Vancouver. I feel like there’s this cool network of intelligent, and interesting women across the country (or world). We meet at conferences and exchange emails and compare notes on jobs, relationships, science, and road biking. I’d love to see a chart, because I bet it really is only a few degrees of separation before we’re all connected, an amazingly powerful network.

Back to the topic, Suze and I had lunch with Michelle, then spent the next 8 hours chatting, discussing, laughing, and drinking a wee bit (I have low tolerance, I can’t help it, I get tipsy fast [2]). I love how with real friends you can not see each other for years but stay in touch. I love how real friends believe that healthy is beautiful and that listening is sometimes the greatest gift. And I love that friendship has nothing to do with high school teenage politics.

On a totally unrelated note, I have been coffee-free for the past two weeks (or so) until I had one tonight before heading out to late movie. Wow. Caffeine actually works again. I’m remembering what coffee used to be like before the thesis made it more of a requirement than a boost.

[1] I wouldn’t normally post unflattering pictures but since Suze looks cute and it’s just me that looks like I’m trying to choke back the biggest, ugliest, giggle ever, I figure it’s okay.
[2] However, absolutely no alcohol contributed to this entry.
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another wedding on the way

My little brother Keith got engaged a couple days ago to his fabulous partner, Rochelle. They told me on the phone last night, and my cold-ridden self managed to rouse only a small level of excitement because I’m feeling so poorly but I couldn’t be happier for him!

Rochelle has been a part of our family for several years now so this the formalization of what our hearts already know, that these two are deeply in love and are very wonderful together.

My mother, as you can imagine, is on cloud nine!
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silver lining right?

I guess the good news is that it looks like Cory doesn’t have pneumonia again. However, along with two visits to the doctors, one of the reasons we think it’s not pneumonia is that I’m now sick too (although not as sick as C, just running a low grade fever).

I’m also starting to write up the paper from the last third of my thesis, and running into serious editing issues. Rather than the meager word count that depressed me all spring while I was writing, I’m now dealing with a word count of 18,000 when I really need less than 8000 words for this paper. I know that there must be an optimum choice of ideas from the thesis for the paper, but I’m a bit too emotionally involved in the topic and it’s hard to judge what’s crucial, and what’s merely ultra-cool.

Close friends have pointed out that we’re not updating the site as much as usual, and that’s due to a whole host of reasons. Lots going on right now isn’t stuff I want to talk about on the web (no, there’s not going to be any big excitement in 9 months (just to head off those enquiries)), and I’m still thinking alot about private family stuff. Cory’s also been away (which I don’t like to talk about online), and honestly, a graphical representation of our fevers really says it all (oscillate between 98 and 100.2), life isn’t always worth writing about. Think of this as that chapter in a book that skims over a few years, we’ll post more when something (good or bad) actually happens.
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i think we’ve been here before

Cory’s sick again, perhaps, hopefully, knock-on-wood, not as sick as this spring, but still feeling downright dreadful. 2004 hasn’t exactly been a great year. Fortunately for us, Jim and Sue (C’s parents) are visiting right now so we’ve got an expert mom on hand to help take care of him (while I was cuddling him this morning, she was far more useful, heading out to the pharmacy to get sinus drugs for C). We’ve got tickets to the football game tomorrow too, and I guess we may very well not get to go.

In other news, Sue and I made a trip to the quilt store yesterday and I’ve got the raw material for the most ambitious quilt I’ve ever started. whoo! I’m both excited and nervous!
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walking in the rain

We’ve been walking in the rain this weekend. Yesterday it was pouring, but buffered by Tim Horton’s coffee we walked up to MEC to buy long underwear for me.

On the way back we stopped off at the Map store (Broadway and Cambie) and gave in to temptation and bought a 9″ globe. (I’ve always found something magical about maps and globes, like the world shrinks that much smaller, or our lives gain perspective.) It now sits on the bookshelves, and along with the oodles of disordered books gives our living room a rather library feel. Pottery Barn we are not!

Today we walked our normal route on Granville Island, enjoying the routine restfulness of the place. It’s one of my favourite places in the city, and it’s right next door. It was a lovely laid back time, which is extra special as Cory leaves again tomorrow for a short trip to Williams Lake. This time it’s not so bad, as I’ve a friend coming in to town (Suze) for the first bit, and then Cory’s parents arrive just before he gets back, so I’m not actually alone. I’d prefer it if he weren’t away at all, but at least he’ll be back soon.

It’s these laid back rainy days that are the beautiful part of a marriage. The cooking dinner together on a Saturday night, the beer and DVD instead of a crazy night out, the laundry, the dishes, the coffee in the mornings. And while I savour all of this, my heart breaks too. I guess we need to appreciate and cherish what we have.
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working on other things

I’m currently at a conference in Vancouver, and Cory’s just gotten home from a work project that’s taken him all over south-eastern BC. Sometimes I love this website to bits, but not when we’re this busy. Then it just turns into one more responsibility before we can relax for the evening.
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