Archive for August 2006

borrowed time

Every time I stop to update this website I feel like I’m on borrowed time. Even the word I just typed “stopped” indicates how my brain works right now. Anything that does not involve Duncan, even writing about him, is stopped-time from reality.

I love him more than I thought was possible, in a fierce, instantaneous love that’s very different than the slow falling-in-love process that Cory and I went through, and I don’t want to be apart from him. But I think I need some non-Duncan time so I can find out what it’s like to be selfish again, even if just for a few hours. Fortunately Cory’s more than willing to have a boy afternoon – so it’ll be guilt-free time for me. The question is, what should I do with an afternoon just for me? Suggestions?

Duncan’s weigh-in was today and he’s gained .530 kg in two weeks. He’s up to 5.63 kg (12 lbs 6 oz). It makes all the struggles of breastfeeding worthwhile. (And struggle is too mild a term – the propaganda makes breastfeeding sound simple when really we should all be given medals for sticking it out).
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two months and smiling

It’s already been another month and Duncan keeps changing every day. He smiles a lot more, but is also fond of quiet times when he can just check things out. He’s happy to lie on a quilt in the middle of the room and just stare at everything around him. After nine months in the womb, there must be a lot of new things to see.

We used to think he was expressive before, but lately his face has shown an amazing ability to communicate (although at the rate it changes, I suspect he’s learning to manipulate me already). Within about two minutes he can be pensive, gleeful, and even shocked, all while maintaining an air of complete contentment. He’s also found his hands and sometimes in the night I can hear him sucking away vigourously on his fists. A mere thumb isn’t enough for my boy, he’d rather manhandle as many fingers as possible in there for a good chomp.

And I can actually start a list of things that Duncan likes now (besides meals). Duncan likes plants, contrasting light and dark, cuddles when he’s tired, but space to stretch out when he’s not. Duncan loves sing-a-longs, the sound of our voices, and lying naked in front of the fire (who wouldn’t). Stroller time isn’t automatically sleepy-time, the bus is very interesting, but golfing may not be the sport for him. Unless one can play while still sucking a soother.

This month has also been way easier than the last month. Duncan’s started sleeping for long stretches at night giving us some solid rest. That means we’ve the energy to do more during the day, like last weekend when we drove down to St. Andrews for an outing. After a lovely lunch we took Duncan for his first mini-putt. While he wasn’t too interested and wanted his soother most of the time, I’m sure his Papa will still think it’s a good omen for another golfer in the family.

Finally, there’s two boys in my life, and the bigger of the two gave me the best gift last night when he closed the bedroom door in my face and told me to “get out, this is the boys’ room”. After two months of waking up every time my baby grunts and snorts, I slept for seven hours straight, completely out. I don’t think I moved. Cory brought Duncan to me at 4:20 in the morning for a meal and I can’t remember the last time I felt this rested. Thank you love!

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tummy time

Every day Duncan gets a bit older and a bit more fun. He actually responds to me now and can be distracted from crying by silly songs (or sensible songs, except that I can never remember the words to real songs when under pressure) and cuddles. Thank goodness the days of rocking a screaming baby for hours on end for no reason seem to be over. Now when he cries, the reason tends to be obvious (hunger, boredom, and tiredness are the three biggies).

And of course I’m in a great mood today as it’s Friday, which means only a few more hours before our twosome becomes a threesome for 61 hours straight (not that I’m counting). Really, equal parenting is very hard when only one of you is at home.

The new banner stems from the fact that Duncan’s only feeding once in the night these days and when it’s at 4 am, that means he’s slept for 7 whole hours in a row. Absolute heaven. It’s not that I love him less if he and I have a dinner date at 3, but 4 am is very sweet.
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bawling baby bbq

Duncan’s got a lot to learn about women, see the accompanying photos for details.

We had Fiona, Michael, & Millie and Emma, Aaron, and Keira over for dinner on Friday night to allow us to have a smidgeon of a social life. We keep Duncan awake for a few hours before his bed time to make sure he sleeps for a good chunk of the night. Sometimes this involves a bit of fussing, which means we pretty much have to be at home in the evenings, so we thought we’d invite over others in the same boat.

Being a new parent seems to be all about change; dinner conversation switches to breastfeeding and bowel movements and how many units of alcohol are safe for us mums. As much as I love my boy, and he is so well loved, I do miss the times when we weren’t so caught up in the routine of babycare. And mostly I’m looking forward to Duncan being a bit older when we can start having adventures with him. We’ve already got the baby backpack and in a few months time the hills will be that much more accessible. I’m in training already, today I walked 10 km with the stroller simply because I didn’t have anything else to do, and Duncan was happily napping.

(I’ve put 186km on the stroller so far according to the bike computer Cory’s attached to one wheel. It keeps me sane, but isn’t much use for weight loss since I’m hungry all the time and addicted to dark chocolate digestive biscuits…)
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empty house

My parents have gone home and the house feels empty all day with just Duncan and I at home. They were amazing, and all of us, Cory included, will miss them. I know that living so far away makes things difficult, but I also know that after spending so much time under one roof together we are probably closer than if I lived down the road…

Is it a coincidence that Duncan’s fussier now too? I know if I was him, I’d be missing all the extra love and attention. I just can’t hold him all the time – having a shower & lunch kinda get in the way.
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