Bedtime in our house tonight:
Me: You’re going to sleep through the night ok Fraser? We’ll play in the morning, but when it’s nighttime you go back to sleep and don’t wake us.
Fraser: The dragon will get me. I’m scared.
There have been a lot of changes lately and we’re all struggling to get over a mammoth cold, so Fraser’s night waking shouldn’t be a surprise. His explanation of why he needs me to respond in the night was though. What do we do? If dragons in the bedroom are a real possibility to Fraser or if he’s unsettled about me working, then getting up twice a night seems inevitable. But then the nights when I’m up at 3am to hear “I want my cement mixer” might indicate someone’s just playing games with my head. I hate the feeling my kids are manipulating me.
But Fraser’s dragons are apt, we are in unchartered territory at the moment, re-learning how to balance parenting and work with our new responsibilities. I’m overwhelmed, teary, exhausted, and also exhilarated. This is getting us back to a more balanced family and for us that’s a positive.
Fraser and Duncan both hiked all the way around the Old Wood of Drum today, which date back to Mediaeval times and include some gorgeous old oak trees. Letting them set the pace was the key, and included lots of breaks to check out bugs, peeling bark, and fallen logs (turned into see-saws, helicopters etc). But the highlight for Fraser was his prized acorn which he carefully carried for the entire mile, entrusting it to me briefly when he needed both hands for exploring, but always asking for it back.
Actually today’s been a brilliant day. After getting home I managed to whip up a tiny little decorative wall-hanging style quilt (about A4 size) that’s a surprise gift for local friends (who don’t know about the website but you never know). It’s the first time I’ve had the sewing machine out in a month and although I had some serious tension issues with the stippling and I was piecing tiny squares less than an inch in size, I’m pretty pleased with it. It was good to get one thing off my to-do list too. Now there’s just a quilt waiting to be finished (from last year around this time), a scarf for Duncan, and a new project for Fraser still in the fabric shopping stages…
Work is going well and we’ve hired a nanny who the boys both seem to really like. Hearing Fraser tell me to “go away mummy” after she arrived Thursday morning was very reassuring. It’s a big change for us and we’re slightly overwhelmed but fingers crossed this is going to lead us into a better balance all round.